I set aside this semester to be intentional with my singleness, and focus on my relationship with the Lord. I realized how much I was really on my relationships with the people around me, more so than I was relying on the Lord, so I decided to do what is called Single for a season. Anyway, I decided I wanted it to end on a Marian feast day, as I started on a Marian feast day, so I picked Dec 8, the feast of the Immaculate Conception. With that I decided that I would also renew my consecration to Jesus through Mary in the last month of my intentional season, and I wanted a specific day to have as my Consecration day. I absolutely love the Consecration to Jesus through Mary. It’s probably my favorite devotional. If you want to know more, please ask! I love to talk about it.
With the consecration there’s a booklet with readings each day. Today’s readings were from the Gospel just before the start of Jesus’ passion. It was a passage I’ve read multiple times throughout my life. I was specifically reading the garden at gethsemane from the Gospel of Matthew. And in it Jesus says wait here.
As a woman, there is a lot of waiting in our lives. Waiting for someone to pursue us, waiting to get married (once engaged), waiting to have kids (once married)… I think you get the picture (and that’s just one example). We wait a lot as women. It’s partly because of how God created woman and designed us.
Coming off this single for a season, I really want to give into this dreamy concept that now a guy is going to ask me out, which is actually kind of ridiculous. The reason I did this was to be more intentional with my time, and with my relationship with the Lord, etc. I had a conversation with a friend this morning about this temptation to dream about being pursued pretty quickly after ending a single for a season. Therefore, coming to prayer and having these words wait here jump out at me, I was struck and convicted. Yes, the Lord has worked in my heart, he has taken me deeper, he has taught me so much and he has more in store for me. He is not done yet, but he’s asking me to wait here. Wait here and keep vigil.
The temptation is to wait passively. To sit on our thumbs and diddle daddle through life waiting for a man to be plopped in your lap (at least if you’re me — which may sound completely ridiculous but women are made for relationship in a particular way, and some of us are convicted of it in a very different way). Which that temptation is completely ridiculous, hence why I refer to it as a temptation. While we are waiting we are called to be actively pursuing the Lord, to seek after him, to serve his Kingdom. When, God-willing, a man does pursue you, you are still called to serve.
Singleness is a time to learn about the unique gifts God has given us. It’s a unique time to develop relationships with our sisters, with women in our lives who can support and love us and share in ways that we just simply can’t with a man. It’s a time when God says wait here, stay with me a while. I have great things in store for you, but they need more time. Trust my timing.
I’ve been reading St. Faustina’s diary, and the other day St. Faustina went to her archbishop and told him about this congregation of religious sisters she wanted to start. The Archbishop said “wait a while, Sister, so that all things may arrange themselves more favorably. This thing is good in itself, but there is no need to hurry. If it is God‟s will, it will be done, whether it be a little sooner or a little later. Why shouldn‟t it be? There are so many different kinds of congregations; this one too will come to be if God so wills. Be completely at peace. The Lord Jesus can do all things. Strive for a close union with God and do not lose heart.“ It was this particular passage that came to mind as I began to reflect on the words of the Gospel wait here.
And it is with those words that I leave you today. Wait here, stay with the Lord a while, and be at peace.