“Lord do not trouble yourself, I am not worthy for you to enter under my roof” — these are the words of the centurion when Jesus comes to heal his servant. Do not trouble yourself — these words struck me this morning as I realized we so often believe that we are of no worth or value. We believe the lie that we do not matter. We believe the lie that we do not have dignity. We say, oh I’m fine, don’t worry about me, when inside our world is falling apart. We sit and day dream about our wedding and the man who will ultimately become our husband and how he will ask us on a date, how he will ask us to be his helpmate for the rest of his life. And because of these dreams we pine after the men in our lives. Our hearts long to be loved, long to be pursued — this is true, but I promise you, dear heart, your heart is being pursued every moment of every day by the man who died to love you.
Let me tell you about this past week for me — it was a big week. I set aside this semester to be very intentional with my relationship with the Lord, and that season formally ended this week on the feast of the Immaculate Conception and the opening of the Jubilee year of Mercy, a day on which I also renewed my Marian Consecration once more. But it was also finals week, and there was a lot going on this week. And some other things happened, unexpected emotional things. But what was beautiful, what was eye opening was to see the way the Lord provided for me in the ups and downs of this week. He gave me sisters and brother who told me that I am worth more than a text message, who affirmed me in a decision to say no. He spoke to me in prayer, revealing the way the Father desired to comfort me as my heart ached. He sent me little notes from my sisters. He gave me snuggles from little kids. He ensured I laughed a lot this week.
It was a week where at points I wanted to give up and curl up in a ball in the corner because I felt like dirt. It was a week where at times I didn’t know what my emotions were. It was a week where I saw the growth, a glimpse of the work the Lord has been doing in my life these last 4 months. It was a week filled with grace and blessing.
And I write this because well, these things that started to hit home this week are things I’ve been told 100 times, but this they started to sink in, they started to become reality. And so I want to close this post with a letter to my sisters, to the women in this world who don’t know they are princesses of the Most High King
I want to you know you are worth so much more than that boy’s eye you want to catch. I want you to know that being single isn’t so bad. I want you to know that you are worth more than a text message, and if a boy asks you out that way you should tell him no because you are worth more than that. I want you to know that you are worthy, whatever you think you are unworthy of.. you’re not. You are worthy because our God is a merciful God. I want you to know that you are loved beyond what your mind can fathom. But I also want you to know that there will be days when you question that you are loved. There will be days when you sit in your room and cry because you feel so unloved, unwanted, unworthy. In those moments, don’t hesitate to reach out, chances are one of your sisters is feeling the same way and in need of a friend too.
Most of all, I want you to know that worth rest not in what you do, where you are, who your friends are, in your imperfections or flaws, but in your God given identity of a daughter of the Most High King. I want you to know that the boy you’re pining after, that your brother x will not be the man who satisfies you. The only one who will ever satisfy you and your desire to be loved is Jesus.
So dear heart, as you wait, as you dream, as you muddle your way through the growing pains of life turn to our Lord. Turn to Jesus, to the one who satisfies, to the one who completes you. The Lord not only chooses to trouble himself with you, but enjoys choosing you, loving you, and pursuing you.
You are worth more and loved more than words can ever express.