A lot of my friends love Brene Brown, for good reason. She’s amazing. And her mantra is vulnerability.
Over the weekend one of my closest, dearest friends was in town for a quick weekend, and we were hoping to see each other because well he got engaged and I wanted to hear the story (duh, girl)… But it ended up not working out and we were both really frustrated because we are really good friends, and have been since I was a sophomore in high school. And I was frustrated with the day in general. It was rainy and gray again (thanks Ohio). And I was struggling with feeling needed more than wanted. My two best friends are getting married, and because I’m rather experienced with weddings (I’ve been in a few…) they frequently run their questions by me, which is fine most days, but that particular day I was hardcore struggling. I just wanted to feel loved. And for most of the day I was just suppressing those feelings and diving into my novel I was reading. But once I realized I wasn’t going to get to see my friend I was no longer able to suppress those emotions.
I was sitting in front of the mirror getting ready for a party I was going to that night and I just looked into the mirror and started crying. I felt absolutely ridiculous. I was crying for “no good reason”.
However, Sunday morning after receiving Jesus in the Eucharist at mass, I was thinking back to that moment. I saw myself in the mirror with red puffy face, snotty nose, the works. I no longer felt embarrassed that that was where I was at and what I was feeling in that moment. Rather, I saw it as this beautiful moment of realizing my own needs. I know I wrote about how “it’s okay to not be okay”… a lesson I’m still learning. So I guess this post is a bit of an expansion on that post (you can read it here).
Being vulnerable with ourselves, with the Lord, with the people around us is such a beautiful and freeing thing! It frees us to admit what we really need. It allows us to see our misery, but it is so beautiful. It exposes our hearts in their fullness and that is a beautiful thing! It reminds us that we are sinners in need of a Savior and Jesus will gladly swoop in and be our comfort, our consolation, our beloved. He longs for us to come to Him in our misery and to reveal to us the beauty of who we really are and who He wants to be for us!
Here’s to beauty and to vulnerability! Have courage, and be kind.