The last 6 weeks have been pretty insane, but especially the last 3 weeks. One of my best friends had a baby, and I’ve always been one who is counted as a sister. She had a long and hard labor and some other issues due to her 9lb baby. Meaning they needed an extra hand, but not many people were able to help for a variety of reasons. However, I was able to help so on my off days that week I was at their house helping with whatever was needed whether doing dishes or holding the baby because he’s happy so long as someone holds him.
Then there was a bachelorette party. Which was quite fun but exhausting. And another work week where my days off were given to the bride to be of assistance to her, running errands and the like.
A weekend at my parents house. And then another week where all my off days and free time were given to the bride and the groom too because it was wedding week and all sorts of help was needed.
This sounds like a laundry list of complaints about being busy, I know. Bear with me.
Anyway so Friday rolls around, it’s the day before the wedding. All week leading up to the wedding I felt drained – mentally, physically, and emotionally – especially emotionally. I texted a friend asking if emotional exhaustion was a thing because that’s what it felt like I was experience. I found myself thinking I can’t do it anymore. I can’t. I have nothing left to give.
Friday morning I woke up exhausted again. I didn’t want to get up. And I really didn’t want to attend to my phone so I ran the errands I needed to run and then I went home, turned off my phone, opened my bible and grabbed my journal. I spent the next hour pouring my heart out to the Lord.
I can’t do this. I can’t give anymore. Lord I have nothing left to give.
And I stopped writing and looked up at the crucifix hanging on my wall. In the moment, by the grace of God, I realized I’d been relying on my own strength. I was trying to be super woman and Miss Independent. But in the silence of that Friday morning Jesus whispered to my heart rely on me. Allow me to be the one to sustain you. I will bring you rest.
He lead me to the gospel of Matthew 11:
Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest.
It’s easy to try relying on our own strength and then to fall flat on our face. I found myself exhausted, grumpy, doing tasks begrudgingly rather than lovingly. All of this because I forgot to rely on the one who my strength comes from.
I’m not sure where you might be this summer. Maybe you’ve been thriving in your relationship with the Lord or maybe you’ve been struggling to rely on your own strength and you’re starting to feel burned out or maybe you’re somewhere in between. Today I want to encourage you to evaluate where you might be and strive to rely even more on the Lord than you are. You see, in all of this I was “praying” each day but I wasn’t really listening to the lord. I was just going through the motions. When I stopped to listen I realized how lukewarm I’d become and was able to return to the Lord and start making changes to rely on Him more as my strength.
As June comes to an end I challenge you to pick one way you’re going to rely on the Lord more for the month of July and how you’re going to do it. I’d love to hear what you decide to do, so feel free to comment and share!