It has been a weird week and a half. My aunt (mom’s older sister) passed away suddenly last week. I moved over the weekend. It has been quite the whirlwind of a week or so. I moved all my stuff from a storage unit too, so you have to keep in mind that really the previous 6 weeks have felt semi chaotic because I was literally living out of a suitcase. Now I’m trying to settle down into a new normal.
I knew I missed all my stuff. I missed having my pretty dresses and all my clothes. But what I didn’t realize was how much I missed my wall decorations – my crucifix, some paintings and things that I hang up in my room. I didn’t realize how much I used these different images in my daily prayer, how much they truly lead me closer to the Lord and deeper into reflection.
One of the things that made the last week a challenge was seeing my family extra. I know, we’re supposed to enjoy seeing family, but sometimes family is hard. And it’s even harder when we all come together for a funeral because of an unexpected death. And, I’m going to see all my family again in a little less than a month when my younger brother gets married. We were making our goodbye rounds before driving back to Ohio and someone said something about seeing us in a month for the wedding and then a comment was made about how come December I won’t have an excuse for being single anymore. You see, I graduate (finally!) in December and I have always responded to the question about my dating life that I’m just focusing on school. That seemed like an acceptable answer and quickly changed the uncomfortable topic. But I won’t be able to say that in a few months… school will be over. I suppose the more real answer is I haven’t met the right person at the right time. But I was definitely feeling distraught by that comment because well I really want to get married, and in order to do that well I need to date..
So I talked to a couple of my friends about it and they were super helpful. And then this morning I brought it to the Lord. In bringing it to Him, I was reminded of the story of Mary and Martha, where Martha is busy bustling about doing her duties to the point where she is flustered that Mary is not helping her. But Jesus stops her says Mary is choosing the better thing – by sitting at the feet of Jesus – listening and waiting and learning.
We live in a Martha world. We bustle about our daily lives trying to get everything done. It’s easy to feel like our clocks are ticking. We’re supposed to be successful, etc. As women I think it’s easy to feel like our clocks are ticking – gotta get married because my biological clock is ticking and I want to have babies and plenty of them so I gotta get started… Okay, but Amber you’re 23…. or maybe you’re 25, but the thing is it will happen at the right time with the right person. It’s so easy to get caught up in a culture of instant gratification. I have to have it and I have to have it now. It’s easy to want to rush things – hustle and bustle, hustle and bustle.
There’s this quote I love by St. Francis de Sales and my friend freshman year of college made me a little poster/sign thing with part of the quote.
Never be in a hurry, do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.
Oh my dear friends, such true words. May we dwell in the presence of the Lord. May we strive to be a Mary in a Martha world. May we sit at the feet of our sweet Jesus, allow Him to lavish His love on us. May we trust in the plan He has for our lives. May we cling to these words of St Francis and remember the Lord is working all these for our good.