As women, I think our self-worth is attacked so much. Many of us have, at one point or another, experienced a feeling of being “too much to handle” and “not enough” all at the same time. We feel like we’re too broken for somebody to love, we’re too needy, we’re too much work. Or we think we’re not pretty enough, or smart enough, or sexy enough, or skinny enough, or house-wifey enough.
Many of my friends and I have recently been struggling with this singleness monster that comes out around the holidays. We’re surrounded by family, and everyone we know is with their significant other and we’re feeling a little isolated being the only single, childless adult in the family. Some of them ask why we’re not dating someone and we try to come with socially acceptable answers, when the reality is we just haven’t met the right person at the right time, and that’s okay. But it doesn’t make us feel any better.
For me, I recently found myself wondering if I’d ever be good enough for somebody to want me… Mind you, that question leads me to know that I need to deepen my roots in my identity as a daughter of God and allow my worth to rest in that and not a relationship, but that’s a thought for another day. And in light of that question, I found myself thinking if Jesus were to write me a letter in response to that question, what would He say?
My dear one, you are worth so much more than you realize. You are worth more than your pretty eyes and beautiful hair. You are worth more than your room-brightening smile and comforting presence. You are worth more than being called pretty, beautiful or sexy. You are worth more than your dress size. You are worth more than your relationship status. You are worth more than your job.
You are worth more than the ex-boyfriend who texted you telling you that the thought of you is making him hard, that he wants to kiss you all over, that he wants to have you like he never could before. You, dear heart, are worth more than the self-gratification and pleasure of another. You are worth more than a man who told you that you were too broken for him to love you.
You have been fearfully and wonderfully made. I know the number of hairs on your head. I know the desires of your heart. You are precious in my eyes, and I love you. You, as you are, are worth the price of the cross. You are a daughter of the most High King, loved more than you could possibly imagine. And you are worth so much more than what the world offers. Every nail in my hands and feet, every lash of the whip, every step up calvary, was worth it so that you and I may know one another. And I promise, my sweet child, this time of waiting, this time of wonder is for a reason. When you feel like you’re not enough, come sit with me, ease my aching heart by allowing me to love you.
Dear sisters, know of my prayers for you as we struggle through this messy life together. May we lean into grace. May we embrace mercy. May our identity as daughter of God be deepened and strengthened in this season of our lives.