Through the Eyes of a New Nurse

Tonight I was taking my trash out and the dumpster is a bit of a hike so I had some time to think. I was talking to some of my friends from nursing school today and one of them was mentioning not wanting to see her family for Easter tomorrow because she’s just so exhausted, which I definitely related to. I would have much rather not have to drive home tomorrow but I’m going to suck it up and go home tomorrow and spend time with my family because they’re my family. I love them. I have the ability to go home tomorrow. I don’t have to work. It’s only an hour drive. And in reality, it is a gift and a luxury to get to see my family tomorrow, in the comfort of my own home.

I found myself thinking about my patients, especially the critical ones, who come through the doors of the ER. I found myself thinking about the man who came in having a massive heart attack and the joy we, as a medical staff, felt when techs from his surgery came down and showed us the clot they retrieved from his heart and told he was stable with good vitals in a bed on the cardiac floor.

I thought about the old couple we cared for 2 doors down from each other, and wondering if the husband made it out of the hospital alive and if they were getting to spend this Easter together.

I found myself thinking about my suicide attempt patient who was in critical condition and went straight to a neuro ICU bed, who may have lost their life far too soon. And I think about what those parents might be going through as this first holiday approaches so soon after their loss.

I think about the patients who have been stroking out before our eyes, who we see quickly declining and with whom we have to move quickly to help keep them alive.

And as I think of all these people I am filled with gratitude. I am filled with gratitude that I have my family, that they are so close, and that they have their health.

As I think about the reason for this holiday – Easter, the resurrection of Christ I am reminded that it so often seems that more prayers are said within the walls of a hospital than within the walls of a church. I am reminded that my life is good and I have so much to be grateful for.

Yesterday, while out for a walk I was taking in all the of the spring season. Trees and flowers budding and the world coming to life again after the death of winter.  And I found myself thinking how beautiful it is that Easter lands in the spring. The time when we celebrate the life the Lord has given us is also the time when the world is coming to life again. How beautiful it is to have a Lord who loves us to graciously, who speaks to us so individually.

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