For the year of 2017 so far I’ve been oddly in love with the song scars to your beautiful, it’s a pretty popular song, so you’ve likely heard, but in case not, here’s a link.
These lines in particular strike me so powerfully:
But there’s a hope that’s waiting for you in the dark
You should know you’re beautiful just the way you are
And you don’t have to change a thing, the world could change its heart
Being one who struggles a lot with perfectionism, who holds on tightly to her past, afraid to let go of what happened to her for fear of it happening again… this song more often brings to mind the emotional scars I have. It brings to mind my fear to love, but more so my fear to allow myself to be loved… because allowing someone to love me means trusting them.
But when I heard this song today it brought to mind a different kind of scar. Over the weekend I visited a friend and at one point he noticed my stretch marks on my hips, and at first he thought they were scratches so he asked what they were and so I explained rather quickly and shortly that they’re my stretch marks from when I was sick with my migraines.
Now I think back to that brief moment – because for so often I was afraid to allow anyone to see my stretch marks, to see my “scars”. I was ashamed of them, they meant my body wasn’t perfect…
I realized though, that those stretch marks tell a part of my story.
They tell the story of how I was a mere 108 lbs and barely able to get out of bed due to the weakness and pain of a chronic migraine.
They tell the story of how I healed and recovered.
They tell the story of how when I started regaining an appetite and was able to eat again I returned to a healthy weight, at a rapid rate.
They tell the story of the side effects of anti-depressants.
They tell the story of a time where I was forced to rely on others to help me, to care for me.
These stretch marks tell a part of my story that makes me most me.
Your scars make you beautiful, and you are beautiful just the way you are, remember that. Your beauty brings light to the world in a way that nobody else can, that’s why you are uniquely you. This week allow your beauty to shine forth.